I recently posted about listening to music while you write. In Words & Music I said that music can inspire your writing, “Poetic stories told with captivating music are not only inspiring but magical in many ways.” In that piece I mentioned some American songwriters; Bruce Springsteen and Ronnie James Dio. I also covered British bassist, songwriter and founder of Iron Maiden, Steve Harris—who I will also cover again in this post—he’s just that good.

Today I want to cover how you can improve your writing by following how lyricists write. Many songs are just short stories. Some are just crap (sorry, that’s my opinion) but the lyrics I want to highlight are, in fact, epic tales.

I’ve only used partial lyrics for these examples on some of the songs. Repeating the chorus and last verses are not completely relevant to make my point.

As you read these lyrics a whole tale will unfold. The importance of this and what you need to pay attention to is how few words a lyricist uses to tell a story.

OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY (5:03)
Lyrics written by Gary Moore (former guitarist for Thin Lizzy)
Best performance of song by NIGHTWISH

They came for him one winter’s night.
Arrested, he was bound.
They said there’d been a robbery,
his pistol had been found.

They marched him to the station house,
he waited for the dawn.
And as they led him to the dock,
he knew that he’d been wronged.
“You stand accused of robbery,”
he heard the bailiff say.
He knew without an alibi,
tomorrow’s light would mourn his freedom.

Over the hills and far away,
for ten long years he’ll count the days.
Over the mountains and the seas,
a prisoner’s life for him there’ll be.

He knew that it would cost him dear,
but yet he dare not say.
Where he had been that fateful night,
a secret it must stay.
He had to fight back tears of rage.
His heartbeat like a drum.
For with the wife of his best friend,
he spent his final night of freedom.

In this song, it’s evident a man is sent to prison for a murder he didn’t commit. He could have been found innocent but he refused to let the police and judges know where he was; he’d been with his best friend’s wife.

I agree, lyrics are more poetic than short story or novel writing, but one of the main rules of writing is that “less is more.” Song lyrics reiterate this rule of writing.

DANCE OF DEATH – IRON MAIDEN (8:36)
Lyrics written by Janick Gers and Steve Harris

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
About a thing that I saw
One night wondering in the everglades
I’d one drink but no more

I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight
Gazing up at the stars
Not aware of a presence so near to me
Watching my every move

Feeling scared and I fell to my knees
As something rushed me from the trees
Took me to an unholy place
And that is where I fell from grace

Then they summoned me over to join in with them
To the dance of the death
Into the circle of fire I followed them
Into the middle I was led

As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear
But still I wanted to do
And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me
As I walked onto the coals

And I felt I was in a trance
And my spirit was lifted from me
And if only someone had the chance
To witness what happened to me

And I danced and I pranced and I sang with them
All had death in their eyes
Lifeless figures they were undead all of them
They had ascended from hell

I have to admit that Steve Harris is one of my favorite lyricists. I love epic tales and if you look into many of Iron Maiden’s song titles, you will see he pulls from a rich history of literary stories and mythology. With titles like, “Murders in the Rue Morgue, The Ides of March, Genghis Khan, Phantom of the Opera, Flight of Icarus, Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and The Wicker Man—you know the man has read many literary classics and even studied Greek mythology.

WHISKEY IN THE JAR (link to Wikipedia entry) (5:44)
Irish Traditional Song performed by Thin Lizzy

As I was goin’ over the Cork and Kerry mountains.
I saw Captain Farrell and his money he was countin’.
I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier.
I said stand o’er and deliver or the devil he may take ya.

Musha ring dumb a do dumb a da.
Whack for my daddy-o,
Whack for my daddy-o.
There’s whiskey in the jar-o.

I took all of his money and it was a pretty penny.
I took all of his money and I brought it home to Molly.
She swore that she’d love me, never would she leave me.
But the devil take that woman for you know she tricked me easy.

Musha ring dumb a do dumb a da.
Whack for my daddy-o,
Whack for my daddy-o.
There’s whiskey in the jar-o.

Being drunk and weary I went to Molly’s chamber.
Takin’ my money with me and I never knew the danger.
For about six or maybe seven in walked Captain Farrell.
I jumped up, fired off my pistols and I shot him with both barrels.

Musha ring dumb a do dumb a da.
Whack for my daddy-o,
Whack for my daddy-o.
There’s whiskey in the jar-o.

Now some men like the fishin’ and some men like the fowlin’,
And some men like ta hear a cannon ball a roarin’.
Me? I like sleepin’ specially in my Molly’s chamber.
But here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain, yeah.

Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia regarding this Irish folk song (see link above to visit):

“Whiskey in the Jar” is the tale of a highwayman who, after robbing a military or government official (“for I am a bold deceiver”), is betrayed by a woman; whether she is his wife or sweetheart is not made clear. Various versions of the song take place in Kerry, Kilmagenny, Cork, Gilgarra Mountain, Sligo Town, and other locales throughout Ireland. It is also sometimes placed in the American South, in various places among the Ozarks or Appalachians, possibly due to Irish settlement in these places. Names in the song change, the official can become a Captain or a Colonel and is variously called Farrell or Pepper among other things. The protagonist’s wife or lover is sometimes called Molly, Jenny, Ginny among various other names.

Many artists have performed/recorded this song, but I’m partial to Thin Lizzy’s version. (Rest in Peace, Phil)

ROMEO & THE LONELY GIRL – THIN LIZZY
Songwriters: Downey;Robertson;Lynott;Gorham

Romeo and the lonely girl
They seemed to hit it off
Till Romeo told the lonely girl
“I must take my leave, my love”

It was these few words I overheard
And thought, “I would move in”
But before I could the lonely girl
Had fallen in love again

Oh poor Romeo
Sitting out on his own-ee-o
Oh poor Romeo

Romeo he had it rough
The guy you’d like to burn
But everything that Romeo had
You can bet it was well earned

For all his good looks there were scars that he took
And a lesson to be learned
Never judge lovers by a good looking covers
The lover might be spurred

Oh poor Romeo
Sitting out on his own-ee-o
Oh poor Romeo

Romeo he like to put it around
He was everybody’s friend
But in the end even Romeo found
On no one could he depend

For all his charms in someone else’s arms
Lonely girl safely lay
When the train came in it had to leave again
And Romeo pulled away

Song writers write tight and that’s the lesson I wanted to share today—one I often need myself. I’m known to write what some may call babble, but following the lead of great song writers will help polish your work, remove unnecessary wording and leave your writing crisp and clear.

Fiction writing requires some description in the story—but trust me—the reader will have the mental image play out in their mind if the writing is good. These are songs I’m obviously familiar with, but the first time I heard them I saw the scene play out in my head. All accomplished with very few words and little description. Trust your reader; less is more. This doesn’t mean you don’t have to be elusive, it means you shouldn’t go overboard.

Related posts:

1. Upcoming Series on Writing Styles and Helpful Tips